Hey, are you ambitious? Creative? Self fulfilled in your passion? Well, now’s the time to turn that around and just give the fuck up. That’s right, everyone else has started, and now you can too! Jump on the bandwagon and give up today! If you’re happy with what you do in life, if you find yourself absolutely in love or if you think your social life couldn’t be any better, then this is the time. Dump your friends, chase off that lover and quit your job to become a stay at home nobody, and you will finally achieve true happiness! Millions across the country are already giving up, so what’s your fuckin’ problem? You too good to give up? Huh? That it? You pretentious fuck. Just quit. Just stop it. Stop all of it. Give. Up. Today.
Ask anyone who’s already been taken in by our campaign; nothing matters! Your achievements, your accomplishments, they’re meaningless! In a hundred years, a thousand years, a million years…shit, who knows, nobody will remember the things you were once so proud of. In fact, the sun will go out and everyone will die, so it’s truly pointless in the most profound sense possible. Give up today and begin leading a more rewarding life instantly! Once you accept this one tiny fact, we guarantee you will see the world more clearly, free of the bullshit they’d peddled down your throat for years about self fulfillment and realization. You’ll gain new purpose, you’ll try to help others see it too, and finally feel like you’re really accomplishing something.
For a one, low time price of 19.99, we can teach you how to stop giving a shit so that you’ll finally appreciate life for the boring, meandering, endlessly miserable poorly thought out and overpriced novelty gift that it is. Do you sometimes feel like you could do less? Like you were meant for something worse? Then giving up is probably the right course of action for you. Join us. Fucking give up today.
Trust us, you’ll probably regret it.